When The Brit Yells, Everyone Listens
by SerasianWind
Summary: The task force is annoyed, Kid wants to play, and Hakuba wishes they would all shut up. Collaboration with LadyTale.


**This story is a collaboration with my dear Lady Tale. Credit for the idea goes to her - I provided snarky Kid dialogue.~**

* * *

Sighing, Hakuba pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to dispel the headache that had plagued him all day. Staying up far into the night to catch up on homework was not a good idea when there was a Kid heist coming up, no matter how far behind he had fallen thanks to his attempts to catch the elusive magician-thief.

Taking a deep breath, the London detective gathered his courage, strode into the building, and checked his watch. Kid would be coming in exactly 17 minutes and 23 seconds.

The thief appeared right on cue, trademark smirk firmly in place. Hakuba stood back and watched as the Taskforce dogpiled the thief. . . or at least, his dummy. A mocking laugh sounded from behind them.

"My, my." Kid stood atop the case shielding the night's target, a large emerald pendant nestled on a velvet cushion. "Had I known that you missed me so much, I'd have moved my schedule up."

The burst of swearing that erupted from Nakamori-keibu's mouth involved things that Hakuba doubted were physically possible.

"Language!" Kid chided, waving a finger reprovingly. "Really, Nakamori-keibu, have some respect for my delicate sensibilities~!"

"Why you-!" The inspector turned red and clouded the air with even more curses.

Hakuba winced, thinking longingly of a glass of water, a dark room, and quiet _._ Blessed, uninterrupted _quiet_.

. . . Which was rapidly disappearing, not that it had been there in great quantities to begin with.

During his brief daydream, somehow Kid had gone from his perch on the jewel case to being chased around the room by the Taskforce. It seemed the thief was in no hurry to leave, and was laughing as he tossed this, that, and the other thing at the officers behind him. Smoke bombs. Confetti bombs. A stuffed rabbit?

Hakuba blinked. How did Kid fit so much junk in his pockets?

The next random object thrown landed in the hands of the nearest pursuer, who juggled it awkwardly while trying to chase Kid at the same time. He failed. The unfortunate man skidded into a wall and fell over, still holding the mysterious projectile over his head. He blinked up at it. ". . . Peppermint bark? Nice." The officer carefully set the candle down.

Kid paused for a moment, confusion in his eyes, then was off again before anyone could take advantage of it.

Hakuba, on the other hand, was growing steadily more annoyed. His headache was growing, no one was making any progress on catching Kid, the emerald was gone, and he had had enough.

"Will you all just _**shut up!**_ "

The scene froze. Literally froze; Kid and the Taskforce had stopped in their tracks and were now staring at him. Silence reigned for a few short moments.

A policeman spoke up, confusion evident in his tone. "Hey, why did we-"

"Ssh!" Kid whispered, bringing his finger to his lips theatrically. "Tantei-san has a headache."

The officer opened his mouth, about to protest. Which was when Kid nailed him across the mouth with a strip of pink duct tape. _Thrown_ duct tape. From ten feet away.

Hakuba massaged his temples with his fingertips. When he spoke next, his voice was loaded with irritation. "I went to bed at 5:42:03 in the morning. I have spent most of the day in the presence of the loudest duo in Japan's public school system. I have not had a good cup of tea in three days, and _so help me,_ if you all do not _shut up_ and deal with the rest of this farce _quietly,_ I will end you all!"

Across the room, Kid grinned and mimed zipping his lips shut.

The Taskforce seemed ready to object, but one pointed glare from the half-Brit was enough to dissuade them. A few more strips of tape, courtesy of the Kid, probably helped as well.

Things moved quickly after that - a few more items thrown, a couple of smoke bombs, and Kid was halfway to the roof, giggling quietly to himself in place of his usual ringing laughter.

o-O-o-O-o

When Hakuba returned home to find a steaming cup of tea and some aspirin laid out, he wasn't sure whether to curse the thief or thank him. He settled for drinking the tea and going to bed.


End file.
